


Hanging By A Moment

by Socket



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance - sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-06-09 21:47:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6924685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Socket/pseuds/Socket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roslin and Tigh begin a relationship based on mutual distrust, contempt and uncontrollable lust.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Timeline:** You Can't Go Home Again

Roslin. That's all he can think of. Roslin.

Their mouths are pressed together, the kiss had been intended as an expression of friendship for his recent support and co-operation but the President's lips had lingered too long. The kiss deepened, tongues met, hands explored, body heat soared and passion ricocheted through the room.

Tigh, it's all she felt, it's all she wanted to feel.

"Excuse me," Billy's voice interrupts.

Roslin and the Colonel pull apart.

"I… uh – I can come back… if you're… um – busy?" the young aide said, embarrassed as he realizes what he's just walked in on.

Laura shakes her head and straightens her jacket. "That's fine Billy – we were just finishing."

Tigh clears his throat. "Yes," he says, moving towards the doorway. "So, um – thank you for your time, Madame President."

Laura nods. The Colonel quickly leaves and Billy can't quite bring himself to look at her. He's shocked, he doesn't know why. It's her life she can see who she likes – but Tigh?

************** 

Tigh rolls onto his side, they both lay still, catching their breath. Laura's head rests against his forearm and the Colonel turns and studies her profile.

He leans towards her. "I love you," he whispers in her ear. She doesn't believe him; Tigh only says it in her bed. As an afterthought: as if it's what he thinks she wants to hear.

She feel's safe with him because he doesn't want anything from her. He doesn't take from her; just uses her body as she uses his. This thing they share… it's about comfort. It's nothing lasting, nothing meaningful; but they need each other; need the outlet.

She likes that he doesn't treat her fragilely; she gets enough mothering from Billy and Apollo, and although this isn't her dream, not by a long shot, life bypassed her fairytale ending years ago and she accepts this.

Tigh slips his arm around her waist and buries his face in her hair; she always smells so good.

"We should get back," Laura says remotely. She hears her voice; distant and calm, and she wonders how she got this way. So far from what she had been as a child – wild and free. She had been the most adventurous of her sisters, the daredevil and yet, here she is; trapped inside this person she has become; this woman she doesn't recognise.

The XO's hand glides across her skin; tracing the outline of her hip as he whispers. "Just once more."

"Tigh – we can't – they'll be waiting," she says, thinking of the Commander, Apollo and the councillors sitting in that stuffy conference room waiting for her and the XO to show-up. And when they do finally arrive, they'll have to apologise profusely and lie: make-up a story about some pressing situation that required both of them.

They're beginning to run out of excuses and Adama has started looking at her strangely, as if he's guessed. Tigh is still unsure of her suitability as President, but his snide remarks have lessened, his impertinence towards her in public has softened and Adama is a smart man. She sees his hawk-like gaze shift between her and Tigh in meetings and she wonders what he'd say if he knew, if he actually knew for sure…

The Colonel kisses her neck; knows it's her weak-spot. "I'll make you scream," he teases, running his hand up her thigh.

Roslin laughs and turns to face him. "And let everyone in the vicinity know?"

"That you're a screamer or that we're having a fling?"

She raises herself onto her elbows and traces the lines of his face with her index finger. "You're the one who makes all the noise – remember last week when Lieutenant Thrace nearly caught us?"

He grins. "And yet I'm the one with teeth marks on my shoulder from where you bit me to stop from - "

She leans forward and kisses Tigh roughly. She's a passionate person, but no one except Tigh knows this and he's not really looking at her.

The Colonel grips her arms and pulls her closer, when they draw apart he murmurs. "Laura, you know you want to. One more time."

Roslin glances over at the clock on her bedside table. They have fifteen minutes before they have to be in the conference. She looks into his piercing eyes and feels his fingertips dig into her back and she can't help but wonder why he's her solace. Her escapism.

"Alright," she whispers.

Tigh grins and with a quick movement, he flips her onto her back. Laura puts her arms around him and as he moves on top of her, he whispers. "I love you," but she still doesn't believe him, maybe because she doesn't need to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Timeline:** Set during/after 'Six Degree's of Separation'

Roslin is on her feet; she's trying to pretend she's fine after her collapse earlier today. She's not fine. She feels queasy, her vision is slightly blurry and she's having trouble concentrating… but she's an expert at appearances and she knows she looks fine.

Laura's at her desk, speaking with Billy when Tigh walks into her office without knocking. He stands in the doorway and the young aide notices Roslin glance up at the Colonel's surprise visit.

"That's all for now, Ma'am," Billy says and hurriedly exits, the President and Tigh have a volatile relationship that he can't quite fathom and he doesn't want to get caught in the crossfire.

Laura removes her glasses. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" she asks glibly.

The XO takes a step forward and then glances at the open door. He closes it and moves towards her desk. "I heard about the… incident earlier," he explains.

She nods and rubs her eyes. "It's nothing…" she lies.

He frowns. "Laura - "

She gives him a sharp look. "What's this Colonel Tigh? Concern?"

The XO takes a step back, as if she's just hit him. "Yes… concern for our leader – hardly setting a good example, is it? When the going gets tough – the tough pass out!"

Laura wants to smash something, preferably his skull. Instead, she wears her practised smile of tolerance and says. "Colonel, I'd hate to think I was keeping you from bullying some naïve Ensign, please, don't let me detain you from your busy schedule."

His eyes narrow. "Ma'am," he salutes and then heads for the door without looking back.

****************

Later that evening, Tigh feels frustrated; he can't drink and he needs a drink… needs an escape from the confines of his misery. His past is haunting him and he seeks Laura out: he wants to feel needed or something more; something only she can provide.

He waits till Billy has left before he steals into Roslin's quarters. She has her back to the doorway when the XO enters. She's already removed her jacket and is unzipping her skirt when he asks. "Need a hand with that, Madame President?"

Startled, Roslin swirls on her heels to face him. He leans against the wall, staring at her. She's annoyed by his behaviour, but everything about him annoys her. "No, I'm perfectly capable of managing a zip all by myself," she retorts.

"You sure?" he says facetiously. "Don't be too proud to ask for help – we don't want you wearing yourself out and fainting again."

She glares at him. "Aren't you supposed to be working tonight?"

He crosses the room and she does the zip of her skirt up.

"I swapped shifts," he answers. "I wanted to… I don't know what the right words are. I'm no good at this, Laura. I wanted to be here. With you."

And maybe the real reason she chose him was because she can hurt him more than he can hurt her.

"I don't need you or your sympathy," she states; she just wants to ensure their emotional boundaries are still in place. All they have is based on a moment of weakness and she wants to be able to switch it on-and-off.

"I'm not offering my sympathies," he grins as he moves closer to her. "I'm offering my services for the night."

"Not tonight…" she replies.

Tigh slips his arms around her waist and kisses her neck. Laura rests her hands against his chest; she's tired and her brain is telling her to rest, but her body wants him. His chest is hot and firm beneath her hands and she thinks that maybe now is the best time to end it, but she hates goodbyes… and she's still touching him… and then their lips meet and they're moving towards her bed.

Tigh is gentler with her than usual, his touch is softer, his kisses lighter and she thinks maybe there is some sensitivity beneath that rough exterior. But she doesn't want to think too much about it, not now, not ever.

Afterwards, he lies beside her, his arm about her and when he leans close to whisper, "I love you", Laura reaches out and covers his mouth with her hand.

"Don't say it," she murmurs.

He nods his understanding and she drops her hand to her side. Silence is easy for them; they never have much to say and now, in this moment, words seem more of a commitment somehow.

****************

Laura is walking through the corridors aboard _Galactica,_ her white nightdress flowing about her. She hears screams behind her and turns to see armed Cylon soldiers shooting at people. She starts to run, her chest tightens as panic sets-in and she turns a corner… she has to reach the Bridge… has to warn Adama…

She enters the Bridge and rushes over to Lee, who is standing beside his father at the ops table. She tries to speak, but her voice is gone. Apollo smiles at her. She shakes him and indicates the danger, but he just keeps smiling. She turns to Adama; he nods respectfully at her, then looks back at the logistics map.

The Cylon's storm the Bridge and open fire. Tigh grabs her arm and pulls her to safety behind a bulkhead. She looks into his eyes, he presses himself against her and kisses her, his grip tightens… and he's crushing her… she can't breathe…

Laura awakes with a start. She's drenched in sweat, her hair matted. She's alone in her bed and for once, she wishes Tigh had stayed. She just wants to feel the comfort of someone beside her. Since the doctor gave her that shot, she's been more prone to nightmares and it's always soothing to hear someone else's breathing, the heat of another body… makes her feel less alone. But she is alone.

Sitting up unsteadily, Laura catches her breath and then stands. She makes her way to the bathroom and splashes her face with cold water. She avoids looking at her reflection. She can't quite stomach the image of herself; she looks more like her mother everyday.

****************

The following evening, Roslin walks into the Mess hall looking for Apollo, when she's greeted by the sight of Tigh sitting at a table nursing a drink and talking with a young blonde woman. He leans in close to the blonde and they start laughing. Laura finds her feet carrying her towards them - she wants to run away, but her first instinct is always to fight.

She stands behind them. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything!" the President says coolly.

Tigh immediately pulls away from the blonde, he turns and stares at Roslin, a guilty expression consumes his face. He stands up. "Uh – Lau – Madame President…"

She gives him a detached smile. "I see you've made a new friend, Colonel," and she glances scornfully at the young woman.

Tigh thinks of his wife, thinks maybe he's falling for Laura because she's the opposite of his wife: Roslin is contained, Ellen was out of control. Roslin thinks first, then acts. Ellen did what she wanted when she wanted and damn the consequences. Ellen was never good enough for him and Laura is too good for him.

The XO puts his drink down and he moves as if to touch Roslin. Instinctively, she draws back.

"As you were, Colonel," she says, her voice low and filled with betrayal. "No need to spoil your fun on my account," and she turns and walks away.

Tigh stares after her and feels the walls closing in, he thinks of Ellen, of that wrenching feeling he used to suffer with her continuous flirting… the humiliation… the anger… and then he finds himself chasing after Laura; which he's never done before. He never felt he had the right, but now he has this urge to make her understand.

He catches up with her in the corridor. "Can we talk?" he asks.

"There's nothing for us to say," she replies coldly, then looks at him sadly. "There never is," and her pace increases.

"Stop running from me!" he demands.

Roslin comes to a standstill.

The Colonel sighs. "You'll share your bed with me but not your thoughts or feelings… I'm tired of the way you treat me - like I'm worthless."

"You're not worthless, Tigh," she says softly, Laura folds her arms across her chest and then looks at him. "I'm used to protecting myself - call it a defence mechanism, a habit, an excuse to not get hurt – but it's my way of coping."

"We all find a way to cope," the Colonel says sympathetically.

His sympathy offends her, like he pities her constraint. She feels her defences go up and before she can stop herself, the words are out of her mouth. "Yes – your way of coping seems to entail flirting with drunken women half your age. Is it easier to pick them up if their judgement is impaired?"

He glares at her. "Your judgement wasn't impaired when you threw yourself at me – what's your excuse?"

"Loneliness," Roslin admits.

There's a silence.

She looks trampled upon. "You're right – we need to talk about this properly."

His eyes soften. "Lets go somewhere private."

Laura nods and he places his hand on the small of her back and leads the way to his quarters.

****************

As soon as the XO closes the hatch to his room, he says. "I was flirting, that's all - nothing would have come of it."

"I'm not your keeper – you're entitled to do what you like," she retorts.

"Why are you always like this? A frakkin' ice box where your heart should be?"

"Why are you so predictable?" Laura yells. "As soon as my back is turned you're all over some blonde!"

"I wasn't all over her – she was talking to me, something you'd know nothing about because you're never interested in what I have to say!" the Colonel shouts back. "You never think about what I want – what I need… it's always about you, isn't it Laura?"

Roslin gives him a fierce look. "This is over. We are over!"

"Did 'we' ever begin?" he asks. "I mean, we have no personal attachment, no feelings to be hurt…"

"No," she agrees.

He pounds the back of a chair with his fist. "Damn it Laura – why do you have to make everything so complicated?"

Roslin feels the heat rising to her cheeks. "How's this for simple? I don't want you, I don't need you – I don't even like you!" she shouts emotionally.

Then his hands are in her hair and her arms are about him. He backs her against the wall and her lips cover his. They're ripping at each other's clothes and thinking stops.

****************

Roslin stirs from sleep, she lies still for a moment, realizing that she's not in her room… that he is beside her. Laura turns and looks at Tigh, he's sound asleep and a smile comes to her lips. She wants to check herself for this reaction; but she's tired of playing games, of pretending she doesn't feel something she does. She was jealous when she saw him with another woman… she has affection for him and she wants to be here.

Tigh opens his eyes and looks at her. "Hey," he says softly.

"Hey," Laura replies.

He kisses her cheek and they lay motionless.

"Does this mean there's hope for us?" he asks.

"Hope is a dangerous thing," she replies softly.

They hold each other's gaze.

"Maybe…" she adds optimistically.

He smiles. She listens to her heartbeat… his breathing… the future is still unwritten and she thinks, maybe this is where their book really begins.


	3. Chapter 3

**Timeline:** Set during/after 'Secrets and Lies'

Roslin blanches. "What?" she grips the arm rests of her chair.

"Tigh's wife, she was found… She and Tigh were reunited last night and have spent most of today together," repeats Adama.

Laura stares at the Commander; her mind not registering this…

Adama watches her closely. He didn't want to have to do this, but Tigh had spent the whole day with Ellen and not given Roslin a second thought. Adama knew how it felt to be the last to know and he didn't want that to happen to her.

"Um," she finally manages. She takes a breath and then licks her lips nervously. "It's her – I mean, you're sure?" the President asks.

Adama nods. "Yes Ma'am. Ellen Tigh is very much alive and well…"

This changed everything. What must Tigh be feeling? She knew he had loved Ellen; she knew because he never spoke of her; as if talking about her was a sacrilege to her memory, only she isn't a memory – now she's a factor.

And now came some difficult questions. Should Laura back off? Should she fight for him? Does he want her to fight for him? What they have is tentative at the best of times…

Adama stands, Laura's attention comes back to focus on him. "I thought you should know," he says kindly.

She nods and the Commander exits her office.

Laura hesitates and then calls out to Billy. "Get the XO on the phone."

Billy gets a secure line through to the CIC where the Colonel was currently on duty. He puts the President straight through.

"Ma'am," Tigh greets formally.

"You didn't tell me, why didn't you tell me?" her voice is soft and filled with hurt.

This unexpected vulnerability from her throws Tigh.

"Tell you what Madame President?" he asks, trying to buy time because Ellen's re-emergence had been like a dream… suddenly she was there before him, full of life and energy… Ellen had swept him up as she always did and he had let her… and Laura… she's like a distant memory.

"Don't give me that! I know you spent yesterday and today getting reacquainted with her."

Tigh lowers his voice. "She is my wife!"

"Was." Laura corrects. "She's your ex-wife… you're divorced, remember? You've moved on… haven't you?"

He doesn't answer. He thought he had, thought his future lay with Laura, but with one look at Ellen, he knew his heart could never escape her clutches. And if he could choose who to love, it would be Laura every time but his feelings have no respect for logic.

"We need to talk about this properly," she says.

Tigh grips the phone tighter. "My shift ends in an hour, I can meet you then, Ma'am."

"Okay," she consents.

There's a long pause and then they hang-up simultaneously.

Billy enters her office to see her staring at the phone. He puts some files in front of her. "Problem?" he asks, his tone apprehensive.

Roslin looks up at him. "No problem," she replies lightly and he knows she's lying.

********************

In her quarters, they keep a distance; physical proximity has always been their undoing.

"She wants to try again," the XO says quietly.

Laura folds her arms across her chest and nods slowly. "And what about us?" Roslin presses, suddenly afraid. "What happens to us?"

There's a long silence. He can't bring himself to say the words, can't bring himself to want to leave her.

"Paul?"

"I think that… Ellen and I could make it work this time. She's not the same, things are going to be different."

Roslin bites her lower lip. "Fine," she manages.

Tigh takes a step towards her. Automatically, Laura takes a step back.

"Is that all?" she asks. She can't bring herself to look at him. Can't bare the idea of breaking in front of him.

He doesn't answer, just gazes at her. He knows he'll regret this but he belongs with Ellen; they're a match and Laura was always too good for him anyway.

The silence continues and Tigh doesn't want to hurt her anymore, so he says sadly. "Goodbye Laura." Then turns and walks out of her room.

Laura sits down on her sofa. She wants to cry but no tears fall. She wants to hit something but reins her temper in. Sometimes she wishes she weren't so in control of herself, but right now she hangs onto her constraint as if it were a lifejacket.

********************

And they were never officially together, so no one is careful about her feelings when they mention the Colonel's happy reunion with his wife. No one censors their latest tid-bit of news about the Tighs… Laura soaks it all up. Lets it perforate her defences and eat at her.

Laura wants to forget him. But as she lies awake in her room at night, imagining him with Ellen; whispering things he had once whispered to her, she feels as if part of her has been removed. Like she's slowly bleeding out…

She never thought she'd fall for someone she didn't want to love - no one warned her about the sleepless nights filled with torment and self-doubt. Laura hates this feeling of restlessness… and she's surprised by the extent of her own grief. Had he really become that important to her?

Roslin spreads her body out across her bed; she can do that now that his bulk isn't there to obstruct her. She starts to list Tigh's bad qualities in her head and when she turns to gaze at the clock on her bedside, she realises she has been thinking up reasons not to love him for most of the night.

********************

"Ma'am?" Lee says, interrupting her thoughts.

Roslin stirs out of her rumination to look at her personal advisor. "Yes?"

"Are you okay? You seem distant lately," he states.

Laura feels over-loaded. She leans forward, rests her head against her desktop and groans her discontent.

Apollo watches her with concern. "Ma'am?"

"It'll go away one day," she says. "One day I'll wake up and it won't hurt so much…"

"The cancer?" he asks, suddenly panicking.

"No," she replies and looks up at him. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to drag you into my personal problems - "

Lee holds his hands up in the air. "You're not dragging me anywhere – I'm going willingly!"

Roslin can't help but smile.

"Come on – whatever it is, you can tell me," the pilot encourages.

Laura fidgets. "I just… got used to having something around and then it was gone. I'll get over it."

Lee raises a questioning eyebrow. "Was this something valuable to you?"

Roslin holds his eye. "Yes. It was."

They exchange an unspoken understanding.

Aside from Billy, Lee Adama is the only other living soul she could call a friend. Tigh could make her scream the rafter's off Galactica, but he couldn't hold a civilized conversation with her for longer than two minutes! She grins.

Lee looks confused. "What?" he asks.

"Just a memory resurfacing," she explains.

Apollo nods. He had known she had a lover, he still didn't know who. The list was short, what with her position and limited time to indulge in a romantic dalliance… and he doesn't want her to be lonely, but he can't cope with the image of her with a man. Can't bare the thought of her in someone's arms, kissing him, touching him… Lee shakes his head to block these thoughts.

"What's wrong?" the President asks.

"Uh…" Apollo mumbles. "Nothing Ma'am."

Billy enters her office. "The dinner's all set, tonight at 19:00 hours," he informs her.

Roslin grimaces.

"Do you want me to be there?" Lee offers.

Billy knew Lee had a crush on Roslin, knew that in meetings he sneaked occasional looks in the Presidents direction thinking no one noticed; but they all did, well – everyone except Roslin. But Apollo's infatuation could come to nothing, so everyone kept silent, waiting for him to get over it and concentrate fully on Kara Thrace.

Laura turns to Lee and smiles warmly. "Would you?" It was going to be difficult to witness Paul and Ellen in all their happiness; with Apollo there she might actually make it through the evening.

Lee nods.

Billy feels relieved; he's watched Laura struggle to hold it together over the last week and he fears that being confronted with Tigh and his wife at this dinner could send her spiralling, but with Captain Adama to look out for her, Billy feels reassured.

"Thank you," the President says.

"Glad I can help," Apollo replies sheepishly.

********************

Dinner was a nightmare. Adama watched as his son spent the entire evening gazing at Roslin, who tried desperately not to look at Tigh, who only had eyes for Ellen, who flirted mercilessly with Lee.

'What a fraking mess!' the Commander thought. He felt like he was trapped in a farce… only it was too tragic to laugh at.

They made it through dinner, survived desert and went through way too much alcohol. As Tigh and Ellen stumble from his quarters, Adama turns to see Laura stacking the empty plates. She looks serene and he's not sure if she's okay or if she's just too damned good at pretending to be okay. Lee takes the plates from her and they smile at each other, and Adama wonders when his son will get over this little… whatever it was.

Adama moves over to them to help clear the table. He worries sometimes - Lee is strong, but he's also a little lost. And as much as the Commander was growing to like Roslin, he doesn't want her as a daughter-in-law.

As Laura collects glasses she hopes that Paul doesn't have his heart broken by Ellen. She has an unsettling feeling about Mrs. Tigh, that the blonde is a time bomb just waiting to go off… She only hopes Tigh is sensible enough to get out of the way when Ellen does detonate.

Apollo watches Roslin closely, she seems more relaxed now than she was through the entire dinner. He starts to wonder if the XO could be the one that Roslin… then decides it's impossible. The President would never be attracted to someone like Tigh, would she?

With everything cleared away, Roslin smiles graciously at her host and his son. "I'd better be making my way home. Thank you for an interesting evening, gentlemen."

Both Adama's smile in amusement at her carefully selected wording, then the Commander walks her to the door and opens the hatch.

He smiles warmly. "You're sure I can't walk you to your shuttle?"

She holds his eye. "Thank you, but no. I'll walk alone," she says plaintively.

Adama understands and sees no remorse or self-pity; she states it as a fact.

"Goodnight."

"Night Ma'am," Lee bids.

Adama nods and Roslin exits the Commanders quarters.

Laura walks down the corridor, glad to have a moment to herself. She realises that she does love Tigh, but she doesn't and never did want to share her life with him. She just isn't designed for that kind of commitment. Laura had felt restricted by Tigh's claim to her and now, she's glad Ellen is back because now she doesn't have to push him away in order to reclaim her independence.

Roslin enters the hanger deck and walks towards her shuttle. She boards and takes a seat by the window, a smile spreads across her face and she leans her head back against the headrest, suddenly over-come with a great sense of relief. She was free once more. She belonged to herself again; no more second-guessing his behaviour or worrying about being caught or making excuses or trying to balance her workload with a love affair.

Laura closes her eyes. She imagines herself in the backyard of her home on Caprica, she pictures her ocean-view, the scent of her prize-winning orchids fills her lungs and she can almost feel the gentle rays of the sun, almost hear the sound of ice tinkering in her glass of lemonade as she sits in a garden chair, a book resting on her lap… One of her favourite pastimes had been reading in her garden on Sundays… Laura drifts off to sleep, free of thoughts of him for the first time in days…

********************

Tigh sits at the table in his quarters, drinking. They were supposed to be spending his evening off together and Ellen's not here. She's two hours late. Laura was never late. Tigh downs his glass of ambrosia and grits his teeth.

Ellen breezes into the room. "Hey Saul," she says cheerfully and kisses his cheek; she smells of alcohol and another man's cologne.

He moves away from her. "You're late!" he barks.

She pulls a face at him. "So I'm late, Mr. Grumpy Pants! You've been hanging round Bill too much – you need to lighten-up!" she teases and puts her arms around his neck.

Tigh tries to move away and she starts to kiss his neck. "Let me make it up to you…" she murmurs and bites his ear.

But it feels wrong - Ellen's too ungainly; he's used to Laura's grace. Used to Laura's subtle perfume, not the pungent mix of liquor and cologne his wife seems to be permanently drenched in. Ellen paws at his uniform jacket and Tigh puts his hands over hers and pulls them away.

Ellen holds his eye. "What now?" she asks, irritated.

Since she's been back he's no fun. Always moody, always chastising her – she can't get round him like she used to. And it's as if he's not really with her… as if he's continually comparing her to someone else and that grates her. She always possessed him; no matter what she did, she knew Tigh would still be waiting for her… but now, now she's not so sure of her power over him.

********************

The left wing of the viper skims the wall of the hanger deck as he lands. Sparks fly and he comes to a halt, swearing under his breath. He releases the hatch and pulls himself out of the cockpit.

Starbuck rushes forward. "What the hell was that?" she yells. "You nearly cut-up the deck and wrote-off a viper we can't afford to lose!"

"I'm sorry – I couldn't get a - " Apollo begins.

"Your mind's not on the job!" Starbuck reprimands sharply.

Lately he appears tired and seems to be in a state of perpetual confusion. She waits for him to join her on the deck before lowering her voice. "Lee, what's going on?"

Apollo studies her for a moment, he can't explain that he's in love with two women at the same time - both of whom he can't pursue. So, he gives a false smile. "Just having an off day, is all!" he says lightly.

She looks unconvinced but decides not to push him. "Fine – then get the hell out of here until you're having an 'on' day, okay?"

Lee nods and heads for the exit; he has to prep for Roslin's tutorial anyway.

********************

Tigh paces up and down the corridor. He's trying to think of a valid excuse to see her. He wants to talk to her, hear her voice… he misses her voice. The only tone Laura uses around him these days is aloof and business like. He rubs his face. What was he doing? He had chosen Ellen. He was happy with –

He wasn't happy. He didn't even know where his wife was right now, probably with some built buff marine in a bunk somewhere… He sighs to himself. Why had he let himself believe things would be different this time? Why had he pushed Laura away when he should have clung to her?

He straightens his uniform and gathers his courage. The guards let him past and he steps into her outer office. It's late and Billy isn't at his desk. Tigh takes a deep breath and then moves towards the Presidents office, he hears her laugh heartily and feels a glow. He smiles instinctively and steps forward, he goes to draw back the curtain but freezes when he hears Lee Adama's voice.

Tigh peers through a gap in the curtain; he sees Laura and Apollo sitting side-by-side at the workbench in her office. They're leaning over a shared textbook and talking quietly. He can't hear what they're saying; just a low murmur punctuated by the odd laugh from her or smile from him.

And it feels like whiplash… like the shock of being in an accident. Tigh steps back quickly. He turns and hurries away. What was he thinking? He didn't need her! He had Ellen back - Ellen was fun, Ellen was full of life… he didn't need Laura… he didn't. He storms off down the corridor, what he needed another drink.

********************

Roslin is in a conference room with Billy, Adama, Apollo and Tigh. They're sitting in silence; soaking in the disbelief that Ellen Tigh is a Cylon. That she had been caught in the act of slitting the wrists of the assassin hired to take Roslin out at the Vice-President nominations. She was currently being held in the brig, having given up the act of protesting her innocence.

Silence lingers in the room.

"Well, at least we know now…" Lee finds himself saying.

"Is that supposed to be consolation, Captain?" Tigh asks snappily.

Laura gives Tigh a sharp look. "Well there's no point throwing around recriminations!" she remarks in Apollo's defence. "The Captain is right – now we know we can do some damage control. Find out what her objective was and take measures to prevent something like this happening again."

Lee gives her an appreciative look and Laura smiles reassuringly at him.

Tigh stands up, incensed because Laura is sitting so close to Apollo, smiling at him too tenderly… and because his mistake in letting her go has never been more evident, more painful. "Oh – I see. So, this is my fault is it? For not noticing the difference between the real Ellen and this… this copy of her - "

"That's not what I said - " Roslin begins.

The XO shakes his head and laughs humourlessly. "I'm sorry, Madame President," he says contemptuously. "But I think that's exactly what you're implying and I don't appreciate the connotation that I – that it was a lapse in security. The Cylons knew they needed to put a Cylon agent in a position of authority – or with access to a position of authority. For all we know – anyone of us in this room could be a copy… even you!"

Lee doesn't like the Colonel's aggressive focus on the President. "This was a unique circumstance that isn't likely to be - " Apollo begins.

"I wasn't addressing you!" the Colonel snaps.

The room falls silent. The Commander leans forward in his seat and looks at Roslin; her eyes down, gritting her teeth, then his eyes return to Tigh. "I think we should break for lunch," Adama suggests.

Lee and Billy stand, they wait for Roslin.

Laura gets to her feet and turns to follow them out of the room when Adama calls out, "Madame President, may I have a word?"

She nods and indicates for Billy and Apollo to go ahead without her.

Tigh heads for the door.

"This involves you as well, Colonel," the Commander claims.

Roslin and Tigh stand before Adama, feeling like naughty children.

"I don't know what's going on between you two and normally I wouldn't delve into your private lives - but you make it my business when you let it interfere with your responsibilities. Whatever it is – when you're on duty - leave it at the door."

Laura folds her arms across her chest. "It won't happen again," she promises.

Adama nods. "I know," he replies, then looks at Tigh before leaving them alone to discuss it.

When the Commander exits the room. Laura and Tigh face each other.

"What's going on?" she asks.

"I could ask you the same thing!" the XO retorts.

She sees his jealousy. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You and your Captain, all cosy-cosy. Heart-warming, really. Except he's half your age and drooling over him in public makes you look ludicrous!"

Laura reels. "First of all – it's none of your business who I do or don't get cosy with. Second of all, I don't "drool" - Captain Apollo is my friend, a gentleman – something you'd know nothing about!"

"If I was such a disappointment - then why were you ever with me?" he demands.

Roslin stares at him. "I really don't know sometimes!"

He glares at her. She puts her hands on her hips and meets his fierce look, not flinching.

The Colonel shakes his head and averts his eyes. "I'm sorry Laura… I didn't want it to be like this. But, when I see you with him… It just makes me so – it makes me want to…"

"There's nothing like that between us. I need a friend, not a lover," she says softly.

Tigh nods. "I'm just not happy."

Roslin folds her arms across her chest again. "I'm sorry Tigh, I really am. But you made your choice and you can't have a tantrum because you don't like how closely I sit to my military advisor - it's not acceptable behaviour and you're better than that… at least, I thought you were."

Tigh looks at her and smiles. "I should have chosen you."

Laura smiles sadly. "But you didn't."

He takes a step towards her and Laura holds his gaze. "Whatever you're thinking of doing – don't," she warns.

He reaches out and cups her cheek, slowly brushing her lips with his thumb. Laura takes a breath, she doesn't want to fall back into old patterns, doesn't want to give herself to him again. He leans forward and kisses her. Laura feels her arms circle him, feels Tigh press himself into her and she knows this is goodbye.

He draws back from the kiss and she smiles at him, strokes his face. Then he turns and walks out of the room because leaving is what he does best.

********************

It's the end of the day and they're alone, again. Lee spends more time with Roslin than anyone else, he realises.

She's hunched over some papers, studying and scrutinizing them: absorbed. He gazes at her, legs crossed, flipping her left shoe on and off, pen in one hand, flicking it in time with her shoe. She's sexy when she's like this: completely immersed in a task.

Roslin glances up to find Apollo looking at her again. He smiles and peers back down at his paper work. Laura leans towards the pilot. "Captain Apollo?"

He looks up, quietened by her closeness.

"Is there something you want to ask me?" she enquires.

An expression of panic engulfs his face. "No, Ma'am."

She nods. "Okay."

She leans back in her seat and her eyes return to the page in front of her.

Lee shifts forward in his seat and gulps back his trepidation. "Ma'am?"

Laura looks at him. "Yes."

"It was Tigh… wasn't it?"

"Yes."

He nods. "I'm sorry it didn't work out."

Roslin shrugs. "Some things just aren't meant to be."

As they hold each other's gaze, Lee reaches out and takes her hand. She smiles at him. After a moment, he releases her and without words, they resume their paper work.

The End


End file.
